TARBIYAH OF A CHILD
Character Education i.e. Tarbiyah is the one that plays a vital role in a child’s personality building. A child starts observing behaviours and ways of expressing emotions from their mother’s womb only, and this observation gets sharper as soon as they open their eyes in the world. Why we don’t realise it earlier? It is because the toddler years of a child’s life are the ones where they absorb every little detail of adults’ behaviour and practice more or less the same in their life later; a child is more observant and less expressive during this time. The most obvious example of this approach can be observed in their speech. It is very common that Parents use a cuter version of some nouns with children but in general conversation they may use the correct word, when a child starts speaking they say the correct word instead of the cute and easier version, Why? Because they rely on their observation of general routine more in comparison to what was being told to them individually. Same is the case with Tarbiyah.
What can be the role of parents or other adults around the kids? First and foremost, the same rules should be followed by every person. Grooming can never take place by giving lectures and telling stories only. The most effective way of grooming children is to provide them with the examples of expected behaviours. Don’t want your kids to shout in anger; control your temperament and don’t shout on them or in front of them, when you are angry. Don’t want your children to leave food in their plates; clean your plates during the meals. Want them to initiate in saying Salam; Be the one to initiate in saying Salam to them. These examples can later be followed by stories about making Allah Pak happy & getting rewards. But the first step is to become a role model yourself. Remember, a child is observing each and every action of ours with keen interest; we cannot control or direct their learning as per our desire. Plus in a child’s world there is no such rule saying “ Actions contradictory of words is allowed to grownups only” (which by the way is wrong in grown ups’ worlds too) for them “Whatever grownups can do is to be followed by them” right or wrong they don’t have the keys at such young age.